How to Cope With the Stress of Being in the Closet
“In a couple years I’ll be in college and out from under my parents’ thumb. Can’t I wait until then to let my rainbow freak flag fly?”
My character’s inner thoughts came to mind when I received a lesbian dating advice question from an Indian college student who felt trapped between a friend’s suspicion of her sexuality and her deep desire to remain in the closet through the rest of college. This woman was 20, and desperate to keep her secret hidden; I assumed this was because homosexuality is still criminalized in India and out gays and lesbians face widespread discrimination.
My character Rye feels trapped between coming out as bisexual to appease her “out and proud” best friend and staying closeted. She’s overweight and already a target of school bullies. If they guess her secret she’s afraid of the additional harassment it will bring. With Rye’s struggle on my mind, I told the college student something LGBTQ folks don’t often say: It’s alright if you need to stay closeted. Sometimes, the closet is the safest space.
Then I shared a little of my own coming-out story. While I’m out now, and write about LGBTQ experiences, I had my own struggles with coming out:
I grew up in a conservative homogenous suburb, and went to an even more conservative private school. My peers were…
